Hi Allan. Just found your advice page for the first time, and I’m diggin it. My problem is kinda strange. I don’t want to be conceited, but….. I’m a very attractive 20 year old guy. I hate it. I have problems with anxiety, and sexual tension makes it much worse.
Because of the way I look, I find myself experiencing sexual tension with almost every girl I meet. I don’t get many chances to ignore the tension and just feel uncomfortable around girls. I’m also a virgin. I don’t know if losing the v-card is the problem, or if it’s more complicated than that. (Also, size is definitely not the problem..)
I don’t know how to relax when a girl eyes me down. It’s come to the point where I’ve given up on trying to have sex. How can a lucky guy like me feel so unlucky. Once a girl is interested, I find myself unable to return that interest because anxiety takes hold. Any advice?
Okay, I can imagine a lot of people reading this email might say ‘Fuck off you egoistical bastard’… But that’s not me. I do find it strange that you have anxiety issue but you also hold yourself in such high regard. You could have written the same email to me, but left the ‘I’m so good looking’ part out because it really has no relevance to your problem…. OR DOES IT??
I actually think that the ego you hold is perhaps your problem with the ladies. You are putting yourself on a peddle stool, you are excepting a lot because you think you are giving a lot and the pressure of all of this is giving you anxiety and holding you back… Forget what you look like, I don’t care if you are Brad Pitt… there is no use being Brad Pitt if you can’t fuck Angelina! You need to relax! You get a lot of attention from girls, ignore it for a bit… stop putting so much pressure on yourself and I guarantee you that after you stop thinking about pulling a chick, it will just happen.
When you want something so much, you build it up into a major thing… you have less chance of it happening, you need to want it… release it and just relax as it will happen!
My final words, get that ego in check… a woman doesn’t want to hear about how good looking you are, she wants to hear how great she looks!
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